Friday, February 29, 2008
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Things That Would Not Happen to Me If I Didn't Have a Baby
I am curled up on the bed in my bathrobe typing away on an article (I love working at home!), when Ben's voice from the other end of the house interrupts my train of thought.
"Chantelle, I need some help here."
I find Ben in the hallway with Perrin in his arms. He is actively holding one of Perrin's hands as far from both of them as his tiny, chubby arm will allow.
"Perrin discovered a pile of poop. I need you to wash his hand while I keep him from getting it in his face."
My gag reflex registers the situation more quickly than my brain. "What do you mean he discovered a pile of poop."
Ben gestures towards the kitchen where I see a brownish smear on the kitchen floor.
"How did it get there?"
"I don't know. He had a poopy diaper this morning, and it leaked, but he still had pants on while he was in the kitchen. I have no idea how it could have gotten outside of his pants without me noticing."
We make our way down the hall to the bathroom and wash Perrin's hands thoroughly with soap.
Then comes the silver lining.
"Well," Ben says, "It's a good thing we decided not to clean the kitchen floor last night."
There is apparently a bright side to everything. Even to finding a mystery pile of poop on your kitchen floor.
"Chantelle, I need some help here."
I find Ben in the hallway with Perrin in his arms. He is actively holding one of Perrin's hands as far from both of them as his tiny, chubby arm will allow.
"Perrin discovered a pile of poop. I need you to wash his hand while I keep him from getting it in his face."
My gag reflex registers the situation more quickly than my brain. "What do you mean he discovered a pile of poop."
Ben gestures towards the kitchen where I see a brownish smear on the kitchen floor.
"How did it get there?"
"I don't know. He had a poopy diaper this morning, and it leaked, but he still had pants on while he was in the kitchen. I have no idea how it could have gotten outside of his pants without me noticing."
We make our way down the hall to the bathroom and wash Perrin's hands thoroughly with soap.
Then comes the silver lining.
"Well," Ben says, "It's a good thing we decided not to clean the kitchen floor last night."
There is apparently a bright side to everything. Even to finding a mystery pile of poop on your kitchen floor.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Ten Days in England
We have had so many trips to England in the last couple years that I have plum run out of clever titles. (I have even run out of not so clever titles that nevertheless amuse me.)
En route through England we stopped at one of those roadside stations with restaurants and a little food shop and gas and stuff. The British ones all seem to have these extravagant playlands including FREE diapers and FREE baby food and cushy changing tables and it all makes me feel a bit like maybe we should have moved to England after all - and spent all of our time driving around the motorways with a bunch of kids.
Anyway, Perrin seemed to like the fenced in play area.
Our first stop this trip was the London flat of our good friends Dayton and Tessa, who we have been stalking around the world. (My new job happens to be at Dayton's alma mater.)
Perrin wonders, "Dayton and Tessa, I wish I knew how to quit you."*
Dayton learns that diapers make mighty fine pillows. (I think he is laughing at something funny I said here. Or else rubbing his tired eyes in boredom. Hmm.)
On Sunday we met some other friends for brunch in Hampstead and it was sunny. In England! In the winter! So after eating (scone with jam and clotted cream, yum!), we took a walk. This photo was totally not posed.
Family photo on the Tube.
Tuesday we made our way north up to the Cambridge area, to visit Judith and Ken. It was here that Perrin, who now walks far more than he crawls, got his first pair of shoes, care of his Great Auntie.
Perrin: "Why is this strange person putting strange things on my feet?"
It was a fun week, but I am really and truly done with traveling for awhile. 15 flights in three months is about 12 or so too many. Plus, it helps that I am going to be legally grounded - my passport is up for renewal. I will have to find things in Germany to amuse me for awhile.
Oh and one last thing, internet people, here is a quick poll -
What animal is on Perrin's shirt here?
So far the most creative answer is a frog in a space helmet.
*Yes, I am going to make the Brokeback Mountain joke every time I see the hat.
** Ken is practicing for their approaching snow sledding trip. He is not that kind of crazy.
En route through England we stopped at one of those roadside stations with restaurants and a little food shop and gas and stuff. The British ones all seem to have these extravagant playlands including FREE diapers and FREE baby food and cushy changing tables and it all makes me feel a bit like maybe we should have moved to England after all - and spent all of our time driving around the motorways with a bunch of kids.
Anyway, Perrin seemed to like the fenced in play area.
Our first stop this trip was the London flat of our good friends Dayton and Tessa, who we have been stalking around the world. (My new job happens to be at Dayton's alma mater.)
Perrin wonders, "Dayton and Tessa, I wish I knew how to quit you."*
Dayton learns that diapers make mighty fine pillows. (I think he is laughing at something funny I said here. Or else rubbing his tired eyes in boredom. Hmm.)
On Sunday we met some other friends for brunch in Hampstead and it was sunny. In England! In the winter! So after eating (scone with jam and clotted cream, yum!), we took a walk. This photo was totally not posed.
Family photo on the Tube.Monday we make a little excursion away from London to visit Ben's grandma and have a quick dinner with two other friends in that part of England.
Empty ice cream tubs and clothespins - remind me again why we buy toys.
Chill baby eating animal crackers.
Chill baby eating animal crackers.Tuesday we made our way north up to the Cambridge area, to visit Judith and Ken. It was here that Perrin, who now walks far more than he crawls, got his first pair of shoes, care of his Great Auntie.
Perrin: "Why is this strange person putting strange things on my feet?"At first Perrin's movements in the shoes much resembled how we imagined Ken to look when he traipses around Cambridgshire in arctic snow boots, but after we headed up to Sheffield on Thursday he quickly improved.**
Zoom in on the shoes to see little baby bull dozers.
Perrin getting carried by Ben around Sheffield.
Perrin and Ben in front of Sheffield Cathedral. We let Perrin walk for a long time around the pedestrian zone in the center of the city. His favorite thing seemed to be to choose slightly macho, younger men, approach them disarmingly and wave and smile at them until they were forced to smile back and then hurry on uncomfortably.
Zoom in on the shoes to see little baby bull dozers.In Sheffield we visited Ben's sister, Josie, and his aunt and uncle, who have two grown boys and, consequently, had boxes of leftover toys for Perrin's entertainment.
Perrin getting carried by Ben around Sheffield.
Perrin and Ben in front of Sheffield Cathedral. We let Perrin walk for a long time around the pedestrian zone in the center of the city. His favorite thing seemed to be to choose slightly macho, younger men, approach them disarmingly and wave and smile at them until they were forced to smile back and then hurry on uncomfortably.Oh and one last thing, internet people, here is a quick poll -
What animal is on Perrin's shirt here?
So far the most creative answer is a frog in a space helmet.*Yes, I am going to make the Brokeback Mountain joke every time I see the hat.
** Ken is practicing for their approaching snow sledding trip. He is not that kind of crazy.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Baby Stepping All Over the UK
Learning to walk is hard. (Note that the purplish area on his forehead is actually a bruise.)
But it has its perks.(Okay, he was carried into the store, but technically he is a toddler.
The sign didn't say "toddling babies", now did it?)
The sign didn't say "toddling babies", now did it?)
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Moving Along
Apparently we hate the environment because we are flying again tomorrow. That makes 14 flights in 2 1/2 months for me. Eat my carbon dioxide, Al Gore!
No, seriously we are going to have to do a lot of recycling to offset our karma with mother earth.
Speaking of karma... Remember how I said, I was safely beyond jinxing with the new job because the contract had been mailed. And then I said, knock on wood, but I didn't actually knock on wood, because I was just using it as a rhetorical device. Big mistake. I had forgotten how far we still have to go before the job and the related move are in clear sailing.
Enter, Ben's immigration application.
Oh, we are so on to you, U.S. Department of Immigration. In order to limit the number of immigrants flowing into the U.S. they must have hired a team of experienced web designers to create a labyrinthine web of sites upon which to house the visa application information. When you call the information line, they strongly encourage you to seek the counsel of an immigration lawyer. I can only assume that immigration lawyers have paid thousands of dollars and have spent years at university in order to learn where to find the appropriate forms on the appropriate web sites, because theoretically all of the information should be publicly available. If one can figure out where to look.
But we are smart people, right. Right? We don't need no stinkin' immigration lawyers.
So we decided to navigate our way through the web sites, figured out the first step - the petition to apply for a visa (yes, that is right - you actually have to apply to apply...if you are ever looking for a rock solid definition for the word "redundancy", I think I've just given it to you), and then we sent the paperwork off, and felt somewhat accomplished.
Until Ben started perusing the web site again. Then he somehow stumbled over another page that we had somehow both missed before (see above labyrinthine). Apparently if you are pressed for time, you can actually file the initial petition to apply at the consulate in person and get the whole process started that same day. But only if you haven't already sent in a form by mail, or so we understood the somewhat opaque response to our email to say. So, we had potentially missed our chance to really get things speeding along.
Back to anxious waiting.
And then today we received some good news and some bad news. The good news is that our local U.S. consulate is apparently wildly efficient and has a response time of approximately two weeks. The bad news is that we (oh, okay, I) forgot to wrote down the expiration date for the credit card, with which we wished to pay our $355 non-refundable application charge. (Yes, I did say $355 dollars...apparently Lady Liberty now only takes poor and huddled masses with visa or mastercard credit). So, our application was returned to us with a new form for our payment information and a bunch of red marks throughout the application that made us feel kinda nervous somehow, like we should maybe include a note explaining why I was unemployed currently or letting them know that I will indeed renew my passport before it expires.
Later today the form, with the appropriate credit card information, went back into the mail.
Let the anxious waiting commence again!
In the meantime, here are a few pictures of Perrin practicing walking (cute outfit care of his great grandma):
No, seriously we are going to have to do a lot of recycling to offset our karma with mother earth.
Speaking of karma... Remember how I said, I was safely beyond jinxing with the new job because the contract had been mailed. And then I said, knock on wood, but I didn't actually knock on wood, because I was just using it as a rhetorical device. Big mistake. I had forgotten how far we still have to go before the job and the related move are in clear sailing.
Enter, Ben's immigration application.
Oh, we are so on to you, U.S. Department of Immigration. In order to limit the number of immigrants flowing into the U.S. they must have hired a team of experienced web designers to create a labyrinthine web of sites upon which to house the visa application information. When you call the information line, they strongly encourage you to seek the counsel of an immigration lawyer. I can only assume that immigration lawyers have paid thousands of dollars and have spent years at university in order to learn where to find the appropriate forms on the appropriate web sites, because theoretically all of the information should be publicly available. If one can figure out where to look.
But we are smart people, right. Right? We don't need no stinkin' immigration lawyers.
So we decided to navigate our way through the web sites, figured out the first step - the petition to apply for a visa (yes, that is right - you actually have to apply to apply...if you are ever looking for a rock solid definition for the word "redundancy", I think I've just given it to you), and then we sent the paperwork off, and felt somewhat accomplished.
Until Ben started perusing the web site again. Then he somehow stumbled over another page that we had somehow both missed before (see above labyrinthine). Apparently if you are pressed for time, you can actually file the initial petition to apply at the consulate in person and get the whole process started that same day. But only if you haven't already sent in a form by mail, or so we understood the somewhat opaque response to our email to say. So, we had potentially missed our chance to really get things speeding along.
Back to anxious waiting.
And then today we received some good news and some bad news. The good news is that our local U.S. consulate is apparently wildly efficient and has a response time of approximately two weeks. The bad news is that we (oh, okay, I) forgot to wrote down the expiration date for the credit card, with which we wished to pay our $355 non-refundable application charge. (Yes, I did say $355 dollars...apparently Lady Liberty now only takes poor and huddled masses with visa or mastercard credit). So, our application was returned to us with a new form for our payment information and a bunch of red marks throughout the application that made us feel kinda nervous somehow, like we should maybe include a note explaining why I was unemployed currently or letting them know that I will indeed renew my passport before it expires.
Later today the form, with the appropriate credit card information, went back into the mail.
Let the anxious waiting commence again!
In the meantime, here are a few pictures of Perrin practicing walking (cute outfit care of his great grandma):
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Feeling Less Undecided
Since no one likes it when I blog about politics I will let other people do the talking. Besides, these cats are all more eloquent than I am anyway. (And two of them are even my friends! I have smart friends.)
I Drank Obama's Milkshake
Obamaphiliacs Anonymous
8 Long Years
Tomorrow I will be back to talking about the cute baby. No worries.
[Oh, and also, thanks for all the well wishes and congratulations about the job. Although the crazy interviews make for some damn hilarious stories, good news is so much more fun to share!]
I Drank Obama's Milkshake
Obamaphiliacs Anonymous
8 Long Years
Tomorrow I will be back to talking about the cute baby. No worries.
[Oh, and also, thanks for all the well wishes and congratulations about the job. Although the crazy interviews make for some damn hilarious stories, good news is so much more fun to share!]
Monday, February 11, 2008
Lucky
For a long time, when I was a kid I believed that if you looked at the clock at exactly midnight something bad would happen to you. I have no idea where I got this from. If I happened to peek at the clock a couple minutes before twelve I would count the minutes to make sure I got safely to 12:01 or 12:02 before looking again.
I still get a little uncomfortable when someone opens an umbrella indoors. I throw salt over my shoulder when it gets spilled. I regularly knock on wood.
What I am saying, is that despite the fact that I don't rationally believe in any of these things, I sometimes indulge in a bit of superstitious behavior. So you will forgive me, dear readers, if I kept the following news to myself for a little while.
I got a job! We are moving back to the US this summer. To the Southwest to be exact. I am going to eat salsa every day and more burritos than any civilized person should.
The contract arrived today, it is signed, and it is going off in the mail tomorrow, so no curse can now befall me.
Knock on wood.
I still get a little uncomfortable when someone opens an umbrella indoors. I throw salt over my shoulder when it gets spilled. I regularly knock on wood.
What I am saying, is that despite the fact that I don't rationally believe in any of these things, I sometimes indulge in a bit of superstitious behavior. So you will forgive me, dear readers, if I kept the following news to myself for a little while.
I got a job! We are moving back to the US this summer. To the Southwest to be exact. I am going to eat salsa every day and more burritos than any civilized person should.
The contract arrived today, it is signed, and it is going off in the mail tomorrow, so no curse can now befall me.
Knock on wood.
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